It is important to note that your newborn's first couple of diaper fillings will be gross. It will be very sticky and hard to get off, kind of like a thick black tar. Don't worry too much it goes away and becomes normal after the first couple of days and you can usually get out of changing it by making up some excuse like "I read somewhere that changing the first couple of diapers is excellent bonding time for mother and child because it lets the baby know who is going to make him/her comfortable."
I do feel a social responsibility now to share what I know because I just got my tonsils out and my sister is going to come and visit to help with all of that. "Sam," you may be asking, "isn't it a bit low to get your tonsils out just to get out of changing a weeks worth of diapers?"
In the words of Tom Selleck on Three Men and a Baby "I'll give you a million dollars to do it."
I am thinking of getting my tennis elbow taken care of as soon as I have milked this as long as I can.
Here are the basics
- It is going to be gross, so man up and just go for it.
- For the best results get everything ready before you take off the diaper. The less time the diaper is off of your kid the less time he has to make a bigger mess.
- Get the clean diaper ready. Open all flaps, make sure the feces fence is up and working, and just make sure it is not defective in any way. A good rule of thumb is don't defecate in a defective diaper.
- Get all the wipes you will need. This is an experience step. It use to take me 5 wipes, but I am now down to 1 unless it is really gross.
- Get the rash cream and bum protector ready. My kid had the worst diaper rash for the first month. We tried everything and took all advice. My advice is try everything because what works for one kid may not work for another. I love Resinol and Aquaphor. We only use the Resinol if the kid has any sign of a rash, and the Aquaphor is like a vasilone and it keeps the bad stuff off of his skin.
- If your kid needs them, get toys. I try to make changing time fun time, because if the kid is crying during the changing process it makes it a lot harder.
- I found that it is very important to take your time doing the steps up until now. There is something about the changing table that makes your kid want to go more. So I take as long a time setting up as I can so the little guy does more in the diaper and less on me.
- Now is the time for speed. Hold your breath, take off the diaper, wipe as fast as you can, put the new diaper in place, rub on the rash and bum protector, and fasten.
- You do not need to fasten correctly during step 4. Because step 5 is fasten correctly... so undo a side at a time and make sure that the diaper is in place and snug. It is important that the diaper is in place. If it is not where it was designed to be all sorts of bad things will happen to very good people. Also, it is important to make sure that the hard part of the fastener is over the soft diaper because it will cut your child like a paper cut on his leg.
- Go treat yourself because you deserve it
- Go back and get your child before treating yourself because you cannot leave him and the changing table
