Babies are dirty. I mean, babies do not clean themselves and oft get mad at you for trying to clean them. This is not a rant, it's just no one ever told me this and I wanted to pass along the information. I was prepared for dirty diapers, messy feeding times, rolling and crawling around in the dirt, and so on, but no one warned me what would happen when it was time to clean the little bundle of spaghetti sauce and and dried on syrup from the mornings breakfast. (Every now and then I will throw in a run-on sentence to give me the literary feeling of working out, you know, kind of like a morning jog for the cerebellum)
I like to get dirty. I don't mind playing in the dirt, picking up my french toast with my hands, or just plain rummaging through the trash for an item thrown away by my kid. I don't mind the feeling of having dirt under my fingernails, nor do I mind getting grease on my hands as I am working on my jeep. Sadly, I do not have the time, (nor would it be appropriate :) for me to talk about the many ways I like to get dirty.
To me, however, getting dirty is only half the fun. I also like to be clean. I wash my hands every time I enter a bathroom whether or not a business transaction was made. I am not afraid to change my clothes if I spill on them. After the fun of picking up my bacon and eggs and rubbing them into my hair (like my kid does) I form a strong desire to go to the shower and shampoo. (Before going on I feel obligated to say that I am strictly talking about personal cleanliness, so please no comments about the frequency of how often I clean my room... pretty please...)
One thing that I had pictured about being a dad was my mini me and I would make a mess during a fun fill activity. After the mess was made we would walk, dirt stained hand in hand over to the sink and wash up. This does not happen. Let me share an experience.
I have developed a habit of gathering two or three toys around my child's changing table just to keep his hands occupied. A common fight I used to have with my boy during changing time was he would reach down and grab some of his mess and then proceed to paint with it on whatever was close. I almost approached Disney for a new book idea called Painting with Pooh, as a squeal for their highly successful cooking book called Cooking With Pooh.
"Fine, I get it, finger painting is fun and what not, but I am done with the changing so lets get cleaned up."
"NOOOOOOO" he would yell and start to cry as I try to take the wipes and clean his hands.
The same thing happens after every meal time, play time, sleep time, or anytime he gets dirty.
"Yes, it is fun to get most of your food ON you instead of in your mouth, lets clean up now."
"NOOOOOO"
So, if like me you thought your new baby would like to get cleaned, you have been warned. I am hopeful though, that as he gets older and realizes that girls don't like a guy who has macaroni in his hair he will start to understand the value of being clean. Although I have to admit I do hope that day is a long way a way as I love my little messy boy.
