Thursday, January 2, 2014

Who's to Blame?

This is a little different today, normally I talk about parenting, but today I am giving a little relationship advice, and I do not mean just between parents, it is advice for anyone watching your kids, like grandparents, awesome aunts, etc...

If you know kids, you know they like to get into trouble... ok, they love to get into trouble.  It is part of the learning curve.  They have absolutely no experiences to fall back on to understand that what they are doing is not a good idea.

I love being outside with my little man.  He will all of a sudden look up at me and in his 17 month old voice say "Puppy!," or "Vrooom!"

I always think why on earth did he just say that?!?  Then, sure enough 100 blocks or so away I will hear a dog bark, or the faint whisper of a car going by.

Kids are so hyper-aware of things around them.   They are experiencing the world for the first time and it is a magical place.  It makes me want to have a more magical view of the world.

You and I have been in the good ol' outdoors so many times we lose the wonder and awe of hearing a dog bark.  Why?  Because our senses are not tuning into the dog, it is so far away his bark barely registers on the decibel meter.  We are focusing on our child who is trying to shove dirt into his mouth, or climb something they will inevitably fall off of and get hurt, or run out in the road...

I like to have imaginary grown up conversations with my kid (don't expect much as "grown up" can be used lightly for my conversations :).

"Calvin, don't put that stick in your mouth!"

"Why"

Because that is the stick that we throw for the dog."

"Exactly!!!"

"Yea, but that is just gross, it probably tastes like nastiness wrapped in dog slobber."

"But, the dog absolutely loves this stick!  Look how awesome this stick is.  You throw this stick and the dog is the happiest thing on the planet!"

"Yea, but he is a dog, so stop it!"

"What if this stick is the cure for sadness."

"It's not"

"I have never tasted it how can I be sure... what if it can make me fly?"

"It can't"

"How do you know that"

"I just do, now GIVE ME THE STICK"

"WAAAAA, WAAAAA, DADDY IT COULD HAVE BEEN AWESOME!"

"Ok, fine, go for it"

"Man, that is nasty!!!"

 It is physically impossible to watch your kid every second of every day.  So when you hear them start to cry, which they are going to do a lot, do not say to the person watching your kid. "What did you do?"

Unless the person is intentionally hurting your kid it is most likely not their fault and it will only make them feel bad and lead to arguments... (and even if it is intentional it still is sometimes not their fault... but I digress...)  Lets face it, your kid is a trouble maker because he/she takes after you.  Your kid is out there experiencing the world, learning what is good and what is bad.  They are learning the stove is hot, and that the best way to get away with something is to do it when you are not looking.  They are not nervous or worried about climbing down the stairs because they have never climbed a stair before.  This means that, by golly, they are going to go and climb down the stairs because there could be something totally amazing down there.  I mean, they have seen you go down there a lot!


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