The "Room"

So, you think you are ready to be a father? The hard part is done, your wife is baking bread, and you can't wait to see your bundle of joy. Set all thoughts aside, you will never be ready to be a father until you are able to pass through the "Room."

At first sight it looks like a glorified bedroom all safe and innocent. It has a bed that is totally adjustable, a couch, a rocker, some fancy looking machinery, yep nothing out of the ordinary... If you think that, you are in for quite a surprise. You see, it is a torture chamber, not for the mother to be, but mostly for expecting fathers.

I did everything I could to try to not be there in the room. I promised to not be an absentee father, I promised to rub feet everyday for years, I promised the world, but nothing. So, with the threat of raising her child alone, my wife made me be there through all of the screaming, sweat, and blood.

You see, mothers don't really see the horror of the room. They see it as a time to first meet their brand new cuddle doll. When I ask my wife what she remembers about the room, she said I really only remember them putting my new baby on my chest and seeing him for the first time, then after that I couldn't help but think of how fun it was to cuddle him!

Oh please, do you not remember writhing in agony for 10 hours, the long needle they shoved in your back, pushing out a freight train through your tender areas? Because that is really all I remember! And while I don't think anything will ever really ruin sex for me... this was a close call!

But seriously though, Once all of the screaming, the ripping, the crying, the pain, and the tears are over there he is! Your perfect baby, and there really are fewer things as awesome as that.